Carbon Credits - The Next Nigerian Bank Fraud
Current mood: cheerful
Category: News and Politics

 

Years ago, I asked my mother how it is that she could justify having a Diet Coke with a particularly fattening substance like her daily bag of Cheetos. She replied that having the Diet Coke - with zero calories - would cancel out her Cheetos. "Anything good cancels out the bad", she said with only the slightest bit of irony in her voice. Okay, I'm lying. My mother is usually so dripping in sarcasm that you have to towel yourself off after talking to her. Everyone knows that regardless of how many no calorie, low fat, low sodium, low anything foodstuffs you have, that if you wash that down with a six-pack of beer, you're not gaining anything - except a tummy.

With all the talk recently on global warming and Al Gore's "carbon offsets",  I have come to realize that my mother's jab at her own eating habits was in fact, pure genius. She will never have to work again. All she has to do is proclaim herself to be the sole purveyour and distributor of "caloric offsets". All you have to do is eat a fatty meal, from say McDonald's or The Sizzler, and then send money to my mother, whereupon she will use it to forgo her bag of Cheetos for say, a few stems of steamed broccoli. And in exchange, you will be absolved from all guilt from eating this large meal...and the 3500 calories you consumed will all but disappear without you feeling a thing! Forget lap-band surgery or that pesky gym membership. This truly is the way to go.

Now I just need to tell my mom about her idea and her new dietary habits.

So it goes with these "carbon offsets". Gore is "carbon neutral", but how? Basically he is paying off a company that (in typical politician form) he owns, in order that some trees can be planted in New Guinea (or wherever) that will "offset" the 50 tons of pollution that his Gulfstream V emits in a year.

Trees, yay! I love it. But honestly, does anyone really believe that this takes away the pollution already in the air due to his private jet? It's like Harry said to Sally, "it's already out there". There's no taking it back.

The Buddhists have the whole offset thing down pat. They came up with karma. However, they never said that every good thing that you do cancels out the bad, karma just means that the more good you do, the less time you have to spend paying for all the pain you've inflicted on the world.

We can all take a lesson from the Buddhists. And it would appear that Buddha himself would be wise to purchase some of my mom's caloric offsets.

 

 

 
I never, ever want to be confused for some of those Huffington Post bloggers who wish Tony Snow death and despair because he happens to be a representative of the Bush administration. Lest we forget, this is milquetoast and mild-mannered (though smarmy) Tony Snow. Not Joseph Goebbels. But yet the hatred and venom thrown at Snow, after revealing that his cancer has predictably returned (after all, stress is one of the biggest cancer-causing agents. If you want cancer, just get a stressful job, like, uh, say....running for president or representing one), was horrifying but equally predictable from certain segments of the Loon Left. These people were probably the same Che Guevara-loving, patchouli-oil bathing bunch that burned a US soldier in effigy in Portland the other day (after several tries, I might add. These aren't exactly Rhodes scholars we're dealing with).

So no, don't assume that my disdain of Snow is an endorsement of those left-wing bloggers' schadenfreude. This is more of a cautionary tale. It is the tale of a man who carried water for the Bush administration on his own radio show, (and to a lesser extent on a Sunday morning television show) who had to miss out on both of his highly-paying (and yes, stressful!) jobs for several months after being diagnosed with cancer of the colon the first time. Then a few years later, this same man, feeling his oats and the kind of pride a man gets when one overcomes an obstacle that large, takes a job that by all rights he shouldn't take because of the fragility of his health.

Snow did a masterful job of placating the media in his months since settling into the job, being heavy-handed when need be; giving out the talking points dutifully while explaining things in a way that the common man could understand.

Where he lost me was his glib response towards the entire Ramos-Compean fiasco; which as it turns out was just the beginning of the logroll of lies that the Justice Department has been forcefeeding us since Alberto "La Raza" Gonzales has taken over. I know that Snow was just there to do his Snow-Job, but it was the manner in which he delivered these messages- with unfeeling, discompassionate drivel towards two men (and their families) who had been railroaded by a government that not only had put them away- but then took some sort of sadistic pleasure in their fate.

No one deserves cancer, but Snow certainly has not helped himself. His pride, his ambivalence towards things that are of import to the American people, and the knots that no doubt were tied in his stomach from having to dish out a lot of crap on a daily basis, were the culprits in the return of the disease. Snow should come away from the hospital in a few weeks, perhaps learning a little something about humility, empathy, and above all - honesty.

 
At long last, someone gets it...Tancredo for Prez!

Tancredo: Time for Gonzales to 'Move On' Mar 20 01:51 PM US/Eastern By JENNIFER TALHELM Associated Press Writer View larger image WASHINGTON (AP) - Presidential hopeful Tom Tancredo has joined the growing chorus of lawmakers calling for U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to resign—only not for the usual reason. Unlike others criticizing Gonzales over the recent firing of eight U.S. attorneys, the Colorado Republican said the embattled attorney general should go because of "a series of leadership failures"—chiefly his handling of illegal immigration prosecutions. "Gonzales' legacy at the (Justice Department) has been one of misplaced priorities, political miscalculation, and a failure to enforce the laws which he has sworn to uphold," Tancredo said in a statement Tuesday. "I think that it is time for him to move on." Gonzales' job security has been in question in recent days as members of Congress from both parties have demanded to know whether the decision to fire prosecutors was a Bush administration purge to install political cronies in plum jobs. Tancredo said that he doesn't believe Gonzales' handling of the prosecutors' firings alone warrants his dismissal, but "his total mishandling of the affair is simply the latest in a series of leadership failures at the Justice Department." Tancredo faulted several Justice Department decisions dealing with border crimes, including the prosecution of two border patrol agents for shooting a Mexican drug smuggler and trying to cover it up. Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

 

 

Politician seeks votes in Klingon

 
I have seen the complaints regarding Republican appointees as the victims of unfair prosecutorial attacks by Democrats. In the case of Scooter Libby, I have a tendency to agree. But in the case of Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, I would have to say that this is someone who is no friend to conservatives, and needs to go...far away.

Aside from being a Bush lackey from way back, he has shown no real affinity for Republicans. His office was recently forced to admit that the FBI violated the law and the civil rights of citizens. In addition, he has been accused of firing eight U.S. Attorneys (who serve at the pleasure of the POTUS) for "political reasons", which remain undisclosed. Apparently the U.S. Attorneys are kept on a very short leash and are coerced to prosecute certain cases while they are told to look the other way on others. Case in point is the recent issue in Texas with now infamous Bush appointee-kissbutt Johnny Sutton, the dirge of conservatives everywhere for the inexplicable persecution and prosecution of Border Patrol agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, in addition to the as-yet-to-be-sentenced law enforcement officer Gilmer Hernandez. His only crime was that he shot his gun at a fleeing suspect, and in the course of the event a bullet ricocheted off the pavement and cut the lip of an illegal immigrant. For this, Hernandez is looking at seven years in PMITA prison.

These two cases, coupled with the total ignorance of the problems in the Texas Youth Commission - which a Texas Ranger says housed horrific sexual abuse cases on the part of the people that were supposed to protect them - calls into question the credibility of Sutton and Gonzalez. They seem to be more concerned about the feelings of the Mexican government, who apparently have the Gonzalez office on speed dial. Gonzalez, after all, is a longtime member of La Raza (in case you forget, the motto of La Raza is "for the race everything, outside the race nothing"), and was pushed for the Supreme Court and later the AG job by said organization. He is also a former board member of the Association for the Advancement of Mexican-Americans. Neither of these organizations are what we might call Bush-friendly, unless Bush is capitulating to the Mexican government and looking the other way when it comes to illegal immigration. The phantom "Hispanic vote" that the GOP continues to go after like so many Don Quixotes chasing windmills, did not come through for them in the 2006 elections, so why is it that Bush continues to suck up to it? Why is it that law enforcement officers doing their job on the Mexican border continue to be a dirge on the planet while those supposedly charged with protecting and defending juveniles in the Texas Youth Commission are allowed to operate willy-nilly? Why are drug cartels able to come into the country without so much as a raised eyebrow? Are we chasing after the drug cartel/illegal immigrant Hispanic vote, or are we going after the vote that really counts - legal immigrants who really want to be here and help build the infrastructure of the country?

If Democrats are afraid to pursue the obvious problems with the Ramos-Compean-Hernandez convictions because they don't want to be seen as anti-amnesty, then they certainly have found an issue that is nearer and dearer to their heart with the problematic U.S. Attorney dismissals and the apparent disregard of civil rights by the FBI. Whatever the road to dismissal for Gonzalez there is, then that is the road that should be taken. My only hope is that whoever takes over for Gonzalez will give law enforcement officers the tools to enforce the laws without overstepping their reasonable legal boundaries (while operating without fear of random and vicious prosecution), and will have the courage to ignore the whiny demands of the Mexican government.

 

WARNING! WARNING! THE FOLLOWING MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO THOSE WHO OPPOSE COMMON SENSE OR WHO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE INSIDE A RED STATE.

Back in December, I learned to my chagrin and horror that New England Patriots quarterback and former Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady had broken it off with actress girlfriend Bridgett Moynahan after three years. Now, I had no idea they had even been dating. Come to think of it, I was unsure who Moynahan was till I did an IMDB search. Brady I am quite familiar with as I LOATHE him to pieces. Not only is he a poseur as a quarterback, but he has a cleft on his chin that under close scientific inspection would draw comparisons to part of the lunar landscape. I mean, it could be the black hole. Carl Sagan and Jacques Cousteau are dead, otherwise there might be an exploratory team on the way.

This has been an interesting year for the celebrity quarterback, as prior to that announcement, Arizona Cardinals QB (and the former Heisman Trophy winner/USC darling) Matt Lineart dumped his basketball player girlfriend for Paris Hilton. Brady now is dating supermodel Gisele Bundchen. You think these are parallel lives? Wait, there's more! Both former girlfriends are now...pregnant.

This won't be a lecture in how men should do the right thing by women or anything like that. We've all been in situations in regards to sex and attempting to end a relationship in the best possible way. Oftentimes people feel like it's best to leave things on the highest note there is, which frequently involves orgasm.

Me personally, when it's over, it's over. Don't confuse the situation, just walk away - otherwise things can get very, very complicated. And how can you possibly make things more complicated then having a baby with an ex while dating a supermodel/starlet/playgirl (what IS Paris's occupation, anyway)? I don't think you can.

All the parties involved say outwardly they're thrilled about becoming parents, but when push comes to shove and children are actually brought into this world, then what happens? You mean to tell me that the new significant others are going to be okay with hanging around while their boyfriends change diapers and play peek-a-boo with a child that the gal-pals had no part in? Moreover, will the tiny infants' mothers approve of said significant others hanging around during the (no doubt highly legalized and contractualized) bonding process? Of course not.

Even more complex is the fact that all of these people (with the exception of the USC basketball player, who is still in college on scholarship) are making millions of dollars. Sure, it's easy to be thrilled about impending father/motherhood when you have a lot of money to pay for nannies, day care, and boarding school. These kids are not going to  have any shot in life at all, assuming that they are going to be put through the parents in absentia routine. If that is the case, then it's no better than if their parents were unmarried and poverty-stricken. Sometimes too much money is worse than having none at all, especially if there is no sense of responsibility or family to go along with it.

Both Lineart and Brady are big, strapping All-American guys from what appears to be decent families. Surely they understand the social ramifications involved, but they are also prima donna athletes who most likely have never been made to even pay a bar tab, much less provide for the economic and emotional needs of a child. I hope that in both cases that they will do the right thing by these kids, and give them the kind of family life that they deserve.

 

 

 

 

Amazing Grace/How sweet the sound/that saved a wretch like me/I once was lost/but now am found/was blind/but now I see...

We've all heard these words many times, never taking into account the origins. What spurred on the deeply emotive Road to Damascus that these few precious lines reveal? You would have thought they could be traced back to some Southerner, who until becoming a preacher had been given over to a reprobate mind. But no, "Amazing Grace" was actually penned in the 1700s by a slave boat operator from England, a man by the name of John Newton. The conditions of these slave ships were as harsh as you can imagine and then some...the film named for the title song reveals even more about the horrors which I won't belabour here, but suffice it to say that whatever you heard in grade school is tame in comparison.

Newton had his change of heart (his "turning point", to quote Glenn Beck) while being tossed and turned over open water in a perfect storm. He prayed to God to allow him safe passage, and God not only spared his life, but saved him by allowing him to see the true evil nature of what he was doing to the souls he had stored aboard his ships like cargo.

Some twenty years later, a member of the British Parliament and God-fearing man, William Wilberforce, takes on the unpopular mantle of eliminating the slave trade completely. Newton by this time has given his time to the church, cleaning and mopping while wearing a hairshirt - a penance for the 20,000 slaves that he estimated he transported. He encourages Wilberforce - who is having a self-crisis about whether he should remain in government or serve God - to do both. He, along with friend and later Prime Minister William Penn, serve as terrific support for a man who was for eighteen years one of the lone voices against slavery in Europe, never mind England. The stress ended  up taking a toll on Wilberforce's health, as he contracted cholitis and never was the same afterwards, though he continued to drive unpopular liberal Parliamentary agenda until his death in the early 1800s.

Flash forward to today, and you have to ask where are OUR Wilberforces? Not in the political arena, most certainly, although you can see glimmers of hope here and there. In the arena of illegal immigration, Tom Tancredo and Ted Poe are most certainly doing their part, but it is an uphill battle as the immigrant trade has now become the slavery of the 90s and early 21st Century.

The only difference between slavery and illegal immigration is that the aliens actually WANT to be here, but they are coming here in horrendous conditions, only to be taken advantage of by scurrilous smugglers and employers who have no interest in paying them what their work is worth. While the alien workers certainly would like to make more money, they live in such fear of being deported that they are intimidated into staying mum. And since they are only working to send money back to their families in their home countries, they seek the safe shelter of their own communities and never learn to speak English. Since learning English is the only way to communicate effectively with the mass majority of government agencies and businesses,  it weakens their chance of ever getting ahead. It also weakens the American culture by degrading the language and Balkanizing our cities and communities.

Not helping matters are banks and mortgage lenders who are offering the opportunity for illegals to sign up for credit cards and big-spender loans that they really can't afford with no real identification necessary. Yes, this benefits the illegal alien in the short term, but in the end, it will be the naturalized taxpayer that will bear the brunt of this "kindness". These so-called economic advantages are designed to keep those who are undocumented further shackled to this country (where they have no desire to stay) through outrageous interest rates and mounting debt.

Slavery by any other name is still slavery, and we are the unwilling enablers.